Please let me die Even though I know you love me
by emochick131
Summary: one shot. Ritsuka wants to die and Soubi tries to stop him. will he stop his Loveless?
1. Chapter 1

I want to die.

I really do.

I hate my life.

My mom hates me. Always saying ''The real Ritsuka will come back, I know he will."

I really hate that.

The kids at school are worse. That one girl stoped talking to me finally. You know the one that liked me. The kids are always making fun of me.

But I don't care anymore.

Oh and Soubi.

Soubi clams that he's mine.

He's not really.

I'm "Loveless''

and he's ''Beloved".

We don't belong together anyway.

I want to die.

And i'm going to today.

I don't care what anyone says.

I'm dying.

But I don't know how...

Well what did u think?? This is just a oneshot. tell me!! lol

xoxo emochick131


	2. Chapter 2

Thanx you guys soo much for reveiwing even though its only 3 lol. I have been sick latley and i still am...grrr well ill try make this good so here it is!

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"Ritsuka"

I turn as I see Soubi at my window. I left it open for once this month. I'm shocked to see Soubi here. I just stand there frozen not knowing what to say to him.

"Ritsuka...what happened to you?"

"Nothing..." I say to a whisper. I have not talked in so long that I guess my voice is almost gone.

"What do you mean hon, look at yourself! Your so pale it's like your snow and your so skinny that i'm afraid to even touch you. Please Ritsuka tell me what's wrong with you please!!"

''Why do you care so much about me? I have nothing here. I don't belong to anything or anyone! Everyone has to know everything about me! My mom still hurts me and I fucking cut myself and I want to end my worthless life!!"

Suddenly I felt week and I fell to the ground. Soubi then quickly went to my side and held me. I missed this feeling.

"Ritsuka are you okay?" Soubi says as he quickly holds me in his strong arms of embrace.

"I don't know" Ritsuka confessed.

"Ritsuka..." Soubi sighed. Soubi then rested his head on Ritsuka's and stared to rub Ritsuka's back up and down.

"mmm...Soubi'' Ritsuka said as he relaxed into Soubi's embrace.

"Ritsuka come with me please."

''Okay but can you carry me please.''

'' Anything you want, Ritsuka.''

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Well what do ya think?? Sorry but i had to leave a cliffhanger for all of you! im such a tease lol. well read and review!!

xoxo, emochick131


	3. Chapter 3

so sorry i have not updated in awhile!! please dont kill me lol. im soo lazy. well i need some help so if you have any ideas then let me know!! heres the next chapter!!

Once Soubi got Ritsuka they went to Soubi's place so they can relax and talk.

"Ritsuka do you want anything?"

Ritsuka just shoked his head "no"

Soubi then went to the couch next to Ritsuka and he put his arms around him while stroking the right side of his head.

"Ritsuka...i'm here for you please talk to me"

Ritsuka didn't say anything. Then all of a sudden Ritsuka started crying and holding on the Soubi like if he left him he would be alone. Soubi then started to rock Ritsuka and telling him"Shh it's alright Ritsuka, i'm here, don't worry." and giving him kisses to calm him down.

half and hour later...

As soon as Ritsuka stoped crying he feel asleep and Soubi carryed Ritsuka to his room and put Ritsuka in his bed while he was still holding Ritsuka in his arms. Once Soubi was settled with Ritsuka he soon relized Ritsuka's dark purple eyes were open. (sorry i don't know what color eyes Ritsuka's is but let me know what color it is.)

"Ritsuka" Soubi said as he put his hand on Ritsuka's face cuffing it.

"Soubi" Ritsuka said as he put his face closer to Soubi's hand while closing his eyes again."I've missed this feeling"

"Ritsuka why didn't you let me know about you?" Soubi said while staring at Ritsuka.

"I...felt as though no one cared about me and...I just didn't think."

"Ritsuka, no matter what, I will still love you and will be with you until the world ends. I love you so much you don't even know. It was killing me inside that I didn't know what was wrong with you." Soubi said now shaking.

"Soubi, your shaking."

Soubi then sat up and started crying. Ritsuka could not belive this. Soubi was crying, over him. Ritsuka then got up sat in front of Soubi and huged him.

"Soubi please don't cry over me."

Ritsuka then kissed Soubi. Soubi leaned into the kiss and huged Ritsuka tightly as though he was going to slip away. Soubi then slipped his tounge into Ritsuka's mouth savored this long forgoten taste. Then they both let go of each other needing air.

"Soubi" Ritsuka said breathless. " I'm sorry that I threw you out of my life. I never ment to do that. Not ever." Ritsuka started sniffling. "I love you too Soubi. More than you think you know."

"Ritsuka. You don't need to say sorry. Me coming here to get you and seeing you was enough for me. I love you." Soubi said kissing Ritsuka again.

"Soubi it's been a long night, I think I should go to sleep now. Then we can talk some more."

"Okay Ritsuka. Whatever you say, my love." Soubi said smiling.

Soubi and Ritsuka then layed down with Soubi hugging Ritsuka never letting him go.

''Good night Ritsuka."

"Good night Soubi I love you."

" I love you too" Soubi said in a whisper loud enough for Ritsuka to hear.

Then they both fell asleep and into a long slumber.

what ya think?? i will update more often now. thanxs again

xoxo emochick131


	4. Chapter 4

hello back again my fellow readers!! thanxs to all my reviewers and readers to keep me going on this story. well here we go again.

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Soon it was morning again and the sun was shining through the window above Ritsuka, who was still sleeping. Soubi was in his study painting. It was 10:00 in the morning. Ritsuka started to wake. He fluttered his dark eyes slowly and looked around the room. He sat up and he didn't know where he was at first. Until he had some flashbacks and then knew he was in Soubi's house. But Soubi was not with him. He paniced.

"Soubi?! Where are you?" Ritsuka asked quickly.

Soubi heard Ritsuka's scream and ran to his room. "What Ritsuka, what's wrong?" as he came to Ritsuka's side.

"I'm sorry Soubi I...I just wanted to make sure you didn't leave me." Ritsuka said holding Soubi as tightly as he could.

"No no never. I'll never leave you. Not for anything." Soubi said stroking Ritsuka's hair.

"Soubi...do you want to know?"

"Know what your life?"

"Yes do you want to know?"

"I would like to know but, you don't have to tell me."

"I want to tell you but, not everything."

"It's okay you can tell me whatever you want. We have forever for you to tell me eveything."

Ritsuka then pulled away from the embrace and sat there with his eyes on the bed. With his ears pulled to his head closely.

"My...depression stared right after my brother died. As soon as he was gone, I relized I had no one to call my own. Then my mother started acting crazy. Always doing something to me because he was gone. She would tie me up to a chair so she won't lose me or she would beat me or pour hot water on me or some other things."

Soubi just stared at Ritsuka and took everything in. He then held Ritsuka's hand to know that he was there for him.

"Then...I...I stared to hurt... myself. I could'ent take it one night and I was in the bathroom sanding in front of the mirror looking at myself thinking, "why i'm I here? i'm so pathtic." So I went to the cabnet and got out a safty pin and stared slash it all over my right arm. I felt better after doing that. I felt nothing really. I've been doing that until yesterday."

Suddenly Ritsuka felt strong arms wrap around him in a tight embrace. Then he heard sniffling. "Soubi?"

"Ritsuka, I knew I should'ent of left on that trip. sniffles I can't belive I lefted you! Ritsuka!" Soubi said breaking down.

Ritsuka then broke from the embrace and put both hands on Soubi's neck.

"Please don't blame yourself. There was probley nothing you could do."

"No! I could of stayed and none of this would have happened and I could of kept you from thinking you alone when your not and..."

Soubi was cut short by Ritsuka's soft lips, it was a simple kiss just to make Soubi shut up.( I know that sounds mean sorry )

"Soubi you saved me and that's all that matters. I was going to kill myself last night. But then you came and saved me. Your my angel Soubi. I have no idea how, but you came for me." Ritsuka said while staring into Soubi's eyes for the longest time.

"Ritsuka." Soubi said while lightly touching Ritsuka's hands. "I love you"

"I love you too Soubi, I love you."

Soubi and Ritsuka at the same time they kissed. With such passion that they hungered for each other. Soubi slipped his tounge into Ritsuka's mouth while Ritsuka's tounge tryed to get into Soubi's mouth. But Soubi let Ritsuka explore his mouth. Ritsuka was feeling good for the first time in his life he wanted to savor and make this last forever but soon they both needed air BADLY.They both gasped with the feeling of air hit their lungs. They both looked at each other with lust,passion and love.

"Soubi."Ritsuka said licking his swollen lips.

"Ritsuka." Soubi said lightly looking into Ritsuka's dark purple eyes.

"Ritsuka please be with me, be my lover, be my everything, be my heart, soul, be with me please."

"Soubi" Ritsuka started crying again." Of course I will i'll be your lover your everything. But once you have me, you can't let me go. Don't ever do that to me.** Love me, hug me, kiss but don't break me." **

"I won't Ritsuka, never. I love you."

"I love you too." Ritsuka said putting his forhead to Soubi's.

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I must say i'm proud of myself! I really like it!!please review

xoxo emochick131


	5. Chapter 5

Once Ritsuka and Soubi had time to talk and now lovers they got to relax and unwine to enjoy life again.

"Soubi?"

"Soubi?"

"Soouubii??"

Ritsuka was looking for Soubi to see what he was doing because he was bored of sleeping and going on myspace and youtube and fanfiction. (That's usally what I do lol) Ritsuka finally reached to Soubi's study in which he was painting. Ritsuka knoked on the door just to be sure.

"Come in."

"Soubi? What are you doing?'' Ritsuka asked bordly.

"I'm just painting like i'm always do--" Soubi said interupted.

"Wow Soubi! That's amazing!" Ritsuka said amazed.

"Oh this? This is nothing really. And thank you.''

"Really? Wow, your really great Soubi."

Soubi just smiled. Ritsuka just seemed so cute and innocent when he's amazed by something. This is one of many things Soubi loved about Ritsuka. Ritsuka's tail just swayed back and forth.

"Maybe sometime I could paint you something."

"Really? You would do that for me?" Ritsuka asked. He never really had anything given to him specily to him. Except when his brother would give him gifts for his birthday.

"Of course, i'm your lover, I would do anything for you, and it would be a challange."

"How would making a painting for me a challange?" Ritsuka said with his head to the side.

"You would have to wait and see." Soubi said smiling, teasing Ritsuka.

"Fine i'll wait." Ritsuka said crossing his arms.

"Ritsuka?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you like to rent a dvd and have a date at home?"

"It's not really a date when it's at your house but...yeah sure, sounds like fun." Ritsuka said smiling.

"Good i'll get it now. But wait here Ritsuka."

Soubi started to walk off but then he felt a tug on his sleve. It was Ritsuka with his head down and holding Soubi's sleve.

"Please don't leave me. I'm sorry, I just don't want to be left alone not after that I let my feelings out yesterday."

"I understand Ritsuka. Don't worry I have a great movie we can watch." Soubi said smiling making Ritsuka confterble.(i know i spelled it wrong. opps lol)

Soubi then grabed Ritsuka's wrist and pulled him to the living room. He then sat Ritsuka down on the couch.

"What are we watching?"

"Have you heard of the director Tim Burton?"

"I think so."

"Well he just had a new movie called Sweeny Todd and I got the dvd. It's great."

"Okay."

Soubi then went under the tv to grab the dvd. Once he got it he put it in the dvd player. He then turned all the lights out to give the dark edgy mood. Soubi the started the movie and sat next to Ritsuka and he put his arm around Ritsuka who flinced a little. As the movie went on Ritsuka then leaned on Soubi as like a pillow. Ritsuka put his head next to Soubi's heart which relaxed Ritsuka even more. He liked the sound of Soubi's even breathing.

The movie was almost over and it was at the part were Sweeny Todd was with his wife. Ritsuka started the hug Soubi and started to cry because of the scence. Soubi then noticed this and lifted Ritsuka's head and started into his eyes. He then put his tumbs under Ritsuka's eyes to stop the tears. Soubi then lened into Ritsuka's face and placed his lips on Ritsuka's lips. Ritsuka closed his eyes and kissed back. They parted their lips and kissed again. Ritsuka melted into the kiss even though it was a little kiss. They then shared one last kiss before the credits came. Ritsuka just stared into Soubi's eyes as Soubi started into Ritsuka's.

"Soubi, that was the best first date I ever had." Ritsuka said smiling.

"I can agree with you on that." Soubi said also smiling. "It's late and you have school tomrrow. We should go to bed now."

"That sounds great. I'm very tired anyway. And sleeping in your arms just makes me melt."

They then stood up and went to their bedroom. Once they were under the covers Soubi put his arms around Ritsuka and put his head on top of Ritsuka's.

"mmm Soubi."

"I love you Ritsuka."

"I...love you...too" Ritsuka said driffting quickly to sleep.

Soubi just smiled and joined Ritsuka into dreamland.

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yess finished it! im soo tired now and i still need to dry my hair! lol let me know how it is and give me any ideas you have. if you leave something for me ill leave your name and have a thank you for it. alright review!!

xoxo emochick131


	6. HELP!

OMG i can't think of anything!!

plez my reviewers help me improve my story!

anything is welcome

PLEZ HELP!!

xoxo emochick131


	7. chapter 6

thanxs to all my reviews again for helping me. i'm not dead just to let u know and i will try my best to make this great and im going for it! here we go!

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"Grrr I can't belive I have to go to school today, of all days." Ritsuka said annoyed.

Ritsuka was walking through the hallways of his school until he got to his classroom. He sat down at the seat he always sat at while everyone stared at him. They have not seen Ritsuka over a week now. Everyone just thought he was dead or somthing like that. Class began in which stopped the whispers of rumors. Then the head of the school came and talked to Ristuka's teacher outside. Again whispers came once again.

"Aoyagi Ritsuka?"

"Yes?" Ritsuka said looking dead in his eyes.

"Come with me."

Ritsuka then got up and fallowed him. He was also wondered why he was being called down. They got to the office and he sat down.

"Now Ritsuka we have just recevied some very sad news about your mother. We found your mother...in the bathroom dead with her wrists bloody. We are sorry for your lost Ritsuka."

Ritsuka just stood up and ran out of the office and out of the school.

"Ristuka wait!" the teachers and staff tried to stop Ritsuka.

Ritsuka just kept running like it depened on his life.

"Ristsuka?"

Ristuka was soaking wet and breathing heavily.

"Soubi, my mom..." Ritsuka said breaking down.

"Ritsuka, what happened?'' Soubi said taking Ritsuka inside.

Soubi sat Ritsuka down on the couch while holding him to make him calm down.

"Soubi...my-my mom she...she k-killed herself!" Ristuka screamed as he tried to catch his breath and explain everything.

"Oh Ritsuka..." Soubi said stroaking his hair.

Ritsuka just sat there in Soubi's arms feeling so dead inside that his own mother died.

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so wat do u think?? the is spelling errors so yeah lol. ill update as soon as i can again. plus more ideas is more than welcome.

xoxo emochick131


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